Three Magic Words

By Marty Nemko

No, not "Abracadabra, hocus pocus." If I want magical conversations, whether in business or personal interactions, I look for a way to honestly say, I respect you, I appreciate you, or I agree with you. Those three words can sometimes, like magic, turn a discussion from adversarial to collaborative, from cordial to inspired. To remind myself to use "respect," "appreciate," and "agree," there's a Post-it on the frame of my computer monitor bearing just those words. Hotel chain founder, Bill Marriott offers a variation. He says that the four most important words are, "What do you think?"

What can you do today?
On a post-it or slip of paper, write:

• respect
• agree
• appreciate
• What do you think?

Now attach the Post-it to the place you're most likely to notice it: the frame of your computer monitor? Your Palm? Your desk? Your refrigerator?