Taming Tough Talks

By Marty Nemko

When you're annoyed with someone, it's tempting to either criticize or keep it inside. Better: Have those tough talks but remember this mantra: Be curious, not convincing. Remember the last time you had an argument. You probably tried to convince your antagonist that you were right. Did it work?

What can you do today?
Instead, start your next tough talk with something like this: "I'm feeling unhappy because (Insert perceived wrongdoing) and I'm wondering if I'm misunderstanding something. Then really listen, avoid judgmental statements, and ask more questions to understand the other person's perspective. End with, "Is there anything we can do to improve things?"