Getting Someone Else to Change

By Marty Nemko

How do you feel when someone says, "You should do X." Chances are, your internal reaction is, "No." Most of us don't like to be told what to do. The key to getting someone to change is to try to get solutions to come from that person. Ask questions to help them better understand the problem, and in turn, develop a reasonable solution. If they're stuck and you want to propose a solution, ask, "Would you mind if I suggest something?" Getting their permission upfront, makes them more likely to feel ownership of the idea.

What can you do today?
Next time you're tempted to offer advice, first ask, "Would you mind if I made a suggestion?"